Paris by Kenji and Keo

 A day at the Tuileries Gardens taken by storm (i  love this picture!)

 Picture taken by Kenji :)

 people.

 sailing boats.

 young Parisian couple.love the fashion!

 We got these really great cards (keo is holding it) . You pick a card and it takes you for a full day in Paris - for kids! (you'd think this was a sweet well intended photo, but Keo is actually screaming his head off while Kenji is whispering something ultra -evil in his ear)

Paris is doing well this time of year. We are all doing better at this time in the year. Jean Marc is busy recuperating and resting (some days are on and some days are off..) and the boys are busy being boys. Why does it feel like I have not 1, 2 but 3 teenagers in the house?

JM had his 2 month post op. anniversary not long ago. He was operated on 28th March. ..

hmm. yeah, it's done. whew. --that was not fun.

Things are strange lately. Weird feeling of looking back on something and not believing what in the world just happened.... these last ...9? months. It's the first time I can kind of, just reflect without having to make myself take a large gulp and look forward. Today I look around at Kenji and Keo, Jean-marc...they are here, with me, we are together, pinch me - is it real? is it over? ...I went on a bike ride tonight with Kenji,  I needed some fresh air, something was calling... I found myself riding through the  forest and to the park where I walked Petunia so many years ago... I don't know how I got there, and then suddenly I was just there. It was like revisiting your past in a dream, although it wasn't a dream,I was actually back here again, -but without Petunia.  I really missed her right then and there and realized I hadn't thought about her like this in a long long time. There hasn't been any room for these kinds of feelings otop everything else recently. And so, this is where it came down once again..the tears, the memories, I don't think I cried like this about Petunia since the days after her passing. And so...here we were, Kenji and I, circling around on our bikes where we use to walk together, Kenji was a baby, Petunia was in her prime. I tried to tell him stories about what it was like when she was young and beautiful, and when he was a baby, through  my sniffles. after sniffles and circling around we decided this was a special place, a place we could come to and think of Petunia. A place that really felt like home, our roots. I wondered why we came here unknowingly...and like to think that Petunia was reaching out :) That she was here at the end of this long tunnel we just took. Here above us and around us saying "hey, I'm here, right where we always use to be." --Now, tonight I feel so much better, like something lifted --I also realize, reflecting on our evening, that I can make a story out of anything:) And that I could make myself cry just for fun if I wanted to. And that I can find a reason to make myself feel really really good and then plenty of reasons to make myself feel really really sad! :) And oh the fun I have! Sometimes I think I would have been a great actress. I trick myself into all sorts of feelings and personalities all the time...note to myself: this is good to know..at least I won't take myself seriously all the time from now on.

anyhow, Petunia was in the air tonight in Fontainebleau, Kenji was the sweetest thing being around me while I was teary eyed on my bike, he stopped his bike, took off his helmet and gave me a hug. He was so sweet the way he cared, the way he was patient while I had one of my "moments"..

--well im off to bed. I making myself tired with all this blubbering away talk. eh!

buenas noches!

The golden key

 This is our house key. Isn't it magical?

 This is our neighborhood.

 This is our baker.

 and our town on one side.

 some windows on another...

 Our balcony view.

 Kenji doing homework.

 Keo with his real Keo face.

 is he half in or is he half out?

 Our garden on any given day, toys, laundry, bikes.

 Kenji pretending to concentrate.

Keo's creation...what does it mean???? He doesn't even talk to girls!

Pretty Picture Post - Salade du marche!

This... above... is what I need to be eating.Working at INSEAD is great, BUT - I eat so so so many croissants, tartine buerres and tartine fromages and sweet palmiers, ..day in and day out ..that I'm going to explode. Let's make a good salade from the marche for Friday? How'bout a Salade avocat, pamplemousse and crabe? ...waiter?

A bit of sugar on our moods

Dear Reader, some days are better than others. I've decided to make all my days a little better than those others. It may not start off or seem like I'm trying but kindly know that WE, our whole family is trying. Trying to get back on top of things, trying to restablize ourselves and our family, back to the way they were. We do have a hold on this situation now, a strong hold, and we are serious abou it.

True...we may have (me more than we.. ) our weak moments here and there where we feel like we are flying off the handle.... and Yes these months have been tough and scary (thank you for understanding me through my difficult times)! But -eh oh! Here we are, all in one piece, managing better than ever!

And with the little bit of magic we have here in our lives in France we are doing just fine. We are back on top of this world and ready to get back to business. We are slowly finding our way back to ourselves and eachother and...it and feels sooooooo good.
--Jean Marc will be the first to testify to this. He is only 2 months out of his surgery and he can walk, sleep in his tummy some and eat pretty much whatever he wants . He is the happiest boy in the world today. You would be so proud of him.

So Yippie for all of us!

Keo the French

Keo-muneco is doing amazingly well in France. He is now practically fluent in French, speaks and reads (a little) and sings constantly in French. Keo has always been a noisy little boy making sounds with his mouth, rattling away, talking nonsense, singing, telling jokes that make no sense, just plain making noise - since he was born. It drives us all crazy how noisy he can be - and now, I have the teacher telling me recently he is doing the same thing at school - making noise with his mouth but in FRENCH! She says he sings in French all the time and that he needs to learn to be a little more quiet. I find it so funny that he is now taking this noisy habit he has and doing it all over again in French. He better learn to buckle down or MaryVon isn't going to be so nice is she Keo???, French school will do him some good. It's strict but loving. And it keeps him busy and interested. Cheeky monkey Keo.

Our kitchen, the forest and JM

A pretty picture post of my kitchen.

Keo in the Fontainebleau Forest sur les roches

Kenji, Liam and Kenji exploring the forest

Famous Fontainebleau Climbing

Famous Amy Climbing

JM really wanting to go the forest ..and then really needing a rest.

--

Tomorrow he goes to his appointment. There they will run tests to see how his liver is doing and other.

Jean Marc Up and Around!

Today is Sunday, JM will be out of the hospital for almost 1 week now with no problems. Yes he is on strong antibiotics but is doing really well. He sees the doctor on Tuesday in Paris to talk about his infection and how he is doing. This weekend we slept a lot, got nothing done in the house, Amy is gone and our lives have turned upside down! :) ...we need some order back and with my mood lately I am not helping this situation one bit. So - up, get on with it Gisa and get your head back on again, and stop being in such a lousy mood! I'm having enough of your moodiness, your sulking, your "head in the laundry basket" attitude.You'r not going to continue to spiral downhill are you? or are you?  no you're not, you have a choice so take the good one, the right one, it is a choice after all. choose the right way out of this mess. Stop your bad habits and start some new ones. Maybe some swimming pool time? Maybe a walk in the evenings if you plan in advance? Maybe some early morning time alone? What about a good nights sleep? yes, a good nights sleep might help.Let's start a list, a list of to do's, let's be more efficient at work to get home earlier, let's take some deep breathes and be more mindful when doing whatever it is I am doing...(that seems like too much right now) what about we start with A LIST, A good nights sleep.
I talked to my mom and Allen tonight (my step dad) that helped a lot....kind understanding voices.
I'm proud of my little sister Stephanie! She got her first internship in NYC! Working for Preston Bailey Designs! Has her apartment in New York and starts Tuesday! What a little sister, way to go dolly.
And my brother Michael, news on his end as well, he is going to be a dad! A baby on the way, due in December I think. Hooray! My siblings are growing up and doing so well. Stephanie and I are 16 years apart...I remember the day she was born, I was napping on my bed and then suddenly woke, ran downstairs and got a call from Allen "you have a little sister!" Stephy-doll...growing up, making it in NYC!
And Mike, a dad! Who would have thought...but maybe this is exactly what he needs in his life, something to ground him a little...a lot!
These are good things. good news, makes me think outside of our own situation, makes me lift my head up and look and see and realize that life is happening and that even though we have to deal with this situation right now we have to be sure to look up and about at the world around us to give us some fresh views, some fresh air, to breathes some air into our little bubble right now.

This week will be better.

So today JM made a BBQ in the backyard. He got all his energy and with Kenji, grilled some merguez and chicken kabobs. He went on make a tabouli salad. I went and bought bread at the bakery (this is all I could do today) We sat in our little back yard and had our first summer BBQ. After eating everyone was so tired we all fell asleep.

I know that JM wants to get better fast, and it frustrates him that his body isn't up for all he wants to do....soon though and in time he will be better, feel better, in time.
I'm happy he is home, happy to see him up and about, it's been a rough few months with lot's of uncertainty and it makes me so happy to see JM dressed, and in front of a BBQ...like the good old days, it makes me sad to know how much pain he has been in though, and how he is now so desperately trying to get back up and on with it. ---There were some moments there that were very scary...so scary and not so long ago. I can't explain the feeling I get when I see JM home again doing something normal. I can't explain it...it's kinda like I tell myself " ...he's here, he is here and he is fine, look, there he is! it's ok., it was only a nightmare.." that kind of feeling...

I have found some new energy this Sunday evening. Let's hope it lasts me all week long.
goodnight.