Paris by Kenji and Keo

 A day at the Tuileries Gardens taken by storm (i  love this picture!)

 Picture taken by Kenji :)

 people.

 sailing boats.

 young Parisian couple.love the fashion!

 We got these really great cards (keo is holding it) . You pick a card and it takes you for a full day in Paris - for kids! (you'd think this was a sweet well intended photo, but Keo is actually screaming his head off while Kenji is whispering something ultra -evil in his ear)

Paris is doing well this time of year. We are all doing better at this time in the year. Jean Marc is busy recuperating and resting (some days are on and some days are off..) and the boys are busy being boys. Why does it feel like I have not 1, 2 but 3 teenagers in the house?

JM had his 2 month post op. anniversary not long ago. He was operated on 28th March. ..

hmm. yeah, it's done. whew. --that was not fun.

Things are strange lately. Weird feeling of looking back on something and not believing what in the world just happened.... these last ...9? months. It's the first time I can kind of, just reflect without having to make myself take a large gulp and look forward. Today I look around at Kenji and Keo, Jean-marc...they are here, with me, we are together, pinch me - is it real? is it over? ...I went on a bike ride tonight with Kenji,  I needed some fresh air, something was calling... I found myself riding through the  forest and to the park where I walked Petunia so many years ago... I don't know how I got there, and then suddenly I was just there. It was like revisiting your past in a dream, although it wasn't a dream,I was actually back here again, -but without Petunia.  I really missed her right then and there and realized I hadn't thought about her like this in a long long time. There hasn't been any room for these kinds of feelings otop everything else recently. And so, this is where it came down once again..the tears, the memories, I don't think I cried like this about Petunia since the days after her passing. And so...here we were, Kenji and I, circling around on our bikes where we use to walk together, Kenji was a baby, Petunia was in her prime. I tried to tell him stories about what it was like when she was young and beautiful, and when he was a baby, through  my sniffles. after sniffles and circling around we decided this was a special place, a place we could come to and think of Petunia. A place that really felt like home, our roots. I wondered why we came here unknowingly...and like to think that Petunia was reaching out :) That she was here at the end of this long tunnel we just took. Here above us and around us saying "hey, I'm here, right where we always use to be." --Now, tonight I feel so much better, like something lifted --I also realize, reflecting on our evening, that I can make a story out of anything:) And that I could make myself cry just for fun if I wanted to. And that I can find a reason to make myself feel really really good and then plenty of reasons to make myself feel really really sad! :) And oh the fun I have! Sometimes I think I would have been a great actress. I trick myself into all sorts of feelings and personalities all the time...note to myself: this is good to know..at least I won't take myself seriously all the time from now on.

anyhow, Petunia was in the air tonight in Fontainebleau, Kenji was the sweetest thing being around me while I was teary eyed on my bike, he stopped his bike, took off his helmet and gave me a hug. He was so sweet the way he cared, the way he was patient while I had one of my "moments"..

--well im off to bed. I making myself tired with all this blubbering away talk. eh!

buenas noches!