Joyeuses Paques 2011!

Happy Easter from FRANCE!

This morning started off with Kenji, Liam and Keo searching every inch of the house for mini chocolate Easter eggs as well as large ones!

They found them on top of the fridge, in the bathtub, and on the light switches!

While Jean Marc had a rest we walked into town to admire the wonderful easter window displays...

And to take advantage of the Sunday outdoor market!

Amy made her way through the crowds and Liam and Kenji headed off to the Carosael.

Chevre...yum...

so many things to look at...

to eat..

We also had the great pleasure of stopping at the bakery and visiting Ivan!

Amy and Ivan!

-----------

Jean Marc is upstairs resting. He was up and downstairs with us for the morning, then we ate a roast that Amy bought at the market...but we weren't sure what it was since as she was buying it they were taking the signs down, so she just pointed and hoped it would be good!

Later today we will go to the forest and have a "goutez" amongst the boulders and sandy ground. JM is looking forward to this, we will see how much energy he has. For now we take small walks up and down the street practiscng his breathing exercises. One step at a time.

Day 28 - Papa Comes Home for Easter!!!!

What a day awaited!  Today JM is sleeping in our house. He had his first peaceful night of sleep last night in our bed. Yesterday he came home...

Eagerly waiting for Jean Marc to arrive!

Here he is!!!!

Keo greeting Papa!!!

Tender Hugs from Kenji...

A few days of rest this weekend before Papa returns to Paul Brousse.

Some fresh air will be great, a change of scene, out of that hospital gown, some good food, a nice view from our bedroom window...I knew these French Windows would come in handy!!!

Almost There!!!

Day 26 and 27 - Kenji & Liam in France

How do I share with you the happiness I have felt for the past two days!?
Rewind, rewind, rewind:
First - Amy and Laim arrived well and happy from Blacksburg Virginia. Their arrival was a groundbreaking event. Do you remember that afternoon so so so long ago in the Airport Acres community? That long and hard, heartbreaking day, the day that followed those weeks before, house cleaning, house packing, house selling days. The days that did indeed lead to that glorious morning when all of the sudden everything was done!  The house was so sparkling clean...without your hands, your help, we would have not gotten there. Thank you, again and forever. What a crazy few weeks that was. Oh yes...and without those mojitos...:)
That morning, breakfast in the kitchen, friends around, last minute wiping down "the landlord will be here in 20 min!" And then the final pack up into the car, the goodbyes...the tears, the hugs, the flowers tied to the antennae of the minivan, Petunia all nestled in the back seat, Sashi...sitting happy and clueless, Simbad somewhere in John and \Andreas house, probably on the warm dryer. The final goodbyes.
Up the road and away we went...then, wait! wait...we see Liam. Liam hustling on his bike up the road after our car. "wait! stop the car, it's Liam!!", Kenji jumps out, Liam runs up.....- horrible hard to swallow feeling

That was gut wrenching day. A day where you feel your torn away from a life you were so happy in. A life you had to leave, you had no choice but to leave. A life there that brought so much happiness and tranquility. A life we never expected to find, friends we never expected to find, evenings we never expected to have, sunny days in the garden, wintery days out in the streets. Barefoot days. Barefoot in Blacksburg.
But this week!!!!- This week brings again some of that BlacksburgNESS! And Liam and Kenji are reunited again,,this time, maybe not around sticks, water guns and popsicles, but instead... a nice dinner and CHEESE in FRANCE!

Happy Boys, a bit more grown up..?

There is something very sweet about having Liam wake up in the morning in Kenji's bed.

Breakfast for the boys!

Amy's market shopping day went really well. All by herself and speaking French!

And Keo-"nut". Concentrating on his tennis skills while Kenji skips camp to hang out around town with Liam.
It has been an exciting week so far. I've managed to work late and not worry about the kids. Kenji has a perma smile on his face. Keo is constantly on Liams back - literally, on his back or shoulders.
and the best news of all : JM comes home for EASTER WEEKEND!
Happy Days!

Day 25

Dear Blacksburg - AMY and LIAM have arrived! They arrived Wednesday morning. Just as I was searching for them on the train platform, there they were! Not a minute too late!
I only have a minute, JM is doing better. His bleeding has stopped for three days now, doctors are maybe, MAYBE letting him come home for Easter weekend!!!! (then back again..) JM is still super tired, still water in lungs but hopefully now that the bleeding has stopped JM will have more energy. His voice sounds stronger and stronger on the phone everyday.

Oh wait till I tell you about Liam and Kenji! and the pictures! And Amy! They are jet lagged but seem to be doing ok too. We are all so happy to see them. What a page turning event! And last night was THE BEST, I came home from work really late and Amy had made the most delicious Lentil Soup and bakes Apples!!!! WHooohooo!!!!!!!! This morning they slept in and we met them for lunch at INSEAD. I gave them a map and they just got on with it. Right now Amy is at home recovering from her long day out walking all over Fontainebleau, Kenji and Liam are somewhere...not sure where in Fontainebleau, they went to see a movie alone and now I am back at work, Keo is in the bath, and I will see them tonight at 9.

Tomorrow is market day for Amy :)

Will post pictures later. we are all very happy to have smiling faces and helping hands around us.

Jm may come home this weekend !!!!!

xoxoxo
gisa



Today I have been dealing with the insurance

Evening 22.

Dear Blacksburg, friends and family,

We are doing well today. JM is feeling strong!

Today started off a bit slow, kids and I rolled out of bed, a little too late for work, a little too late for tennis camp, a little too late for any breakfast. Somehow we all made it to camp and work though, late, but at this point WHO CARES. Our first day in many alone as 3 in our own house in Fontainebleau. Boys were not in any mood for camp, but they had no choice, mama has to get to work, and it does them good to get some sun and exercise, of course, staying home with my boys would have been nice too, but somehow I think it does all of us some good to get up, get ready and start our day, better late than never.
I had promised JM I wouldn't call him unless he phoned me. Don't want to wake him, you never know how his night went. I try not to stress about it if I don't hear from him.  So I tried my best not to worry, kept my head in my job and ...waited. JM's mom called me a few times a little nervous herself as to why she couldn't reach him. I just told her that he was probably sleeping, maybe turned off the phone..this and that. Somehow settling someones else's feelings made me feel more in control.
Kenji and Keo's tennis camp is next to INSEAD, where I work. So it really could not be any better. I park at the tennis courts, drop off my little monkeys with a hug and kiss and walk up to my office only 5 minutes away :) At lunch I get them and we picnic in the forest behind INSEAD or they eat with me at the cantine. Then an hour ...or two later...I drop them back off at camp and get back to work. The set-up is really great.
At 4 I got them again, brought them over, let them play computer for awhile, got them paper to make paper airplanes, gave them my ID so they could by goodies and they were good to go for another hour on their own. Then my colleague Virginie said "why don't you take them to the cinema tonight?!" Great idea!!! So I went and bought our tickets that they sell at work, popped them in an envelope, wrote their names on it with a smiley face and just before we left my office I handed them their gifts! They were so happy!!! What a change of pace for once! Off to the movies! We headed home, I took a quick nap, and then we headed to Fontainebleau city centre for our movie night! It was great. Really really great. We got our 3-d glasses, skipped dinner, bought popcorn and coke, watched "RIO" a fantastic movie and had a super evening. Kenji, once we sat down and the movie started said "thank you mama..."
Well, thank you Virginie for getting my head out of my head and seeing the world today a little differently. I don't know if I would have had the energy to think of getting movie tickets today...
We ended our evening quite late, walked through town a bit which was still up and lively, thought for a second we could eat out on a terrace, drinking a glass of wine...then thought how crazy that was to think that, then came to my senses and realized we all needed a good sleep.. made our way home, ate some bananas, cheese and milk and went to bed. I came back down to charge my phone and saw that JM called.

Today was a good day for him :)) He sounded strong on the phone tonight. He said he felt better. No bleeding today, his blood count is normal, no transfusions. He sees the Urologist sometime this week to get a second opinion on some things. My meeting with the doctor, Dr. Antonini may be tomorrow but I'm still waiting for a confirmation on that. I have also requested to meet with Dr. Lozeron, Dr. Adams and Dr. Samual, the doctors and professors we spent so much time talking to before his operation, I haven't seen them ONCE since the operation. So I've contacted Colette Danette - lady that coordinates all the appointments and gave her a piece of my mind today in the form of an email both and French and English and demanded an appointment with all four. I told her it's been 3 weeks. 3 weeks of stuff that should have never happened in the first place. I want to make sure that what JM has experienced is getting back to the doctors that cared "so" much about him and us in the first place. I'm starting to get angry here...let's end this post back on a good note:

So today...sunny day...movie day...JM is well...voice is strong...was happy to hear from me...Kids were happy....sunny day, smiley faces, popcorn, coke, ..talked to my mama again tonight...peaceful evening, comfy pajamas.

ok, good night.
all is well.
bisous,
gisa

Day 21 - Boys visit JM for the first time

Today...
Well I'm writing this in a much better mood than an hour ago. Long drives home have a tendency to put my thoughts back in order and get a hold of myself, maybe long traffic lines arn't so bad after all.
Today we went, all together, JM's mom, sister, little Loup, Kenji, Keo and I to visit Jean Marc at Paul Brousse. Everyone waited outside in the park gardens for JM and I to come out from the hospital. At this point, Jm is walking which is great. Able to go outside, take some fresh air- get out of the awful hospital room. We brought along a picnic. When JM and I arrived, out the doors, Kenji and Keo came running towards him. JM smiled, Kenji ran up hugged his Papa, Keo came along too with a a bit of unexpected cry...

Just when I think I've felt it all. Just when I think I am soooooo strong...it hits again, out of nowhere. I swear, I've put up shields around myself to battle these emotions that come on to fast and strong, I've learnt and am still learning exactly when to put up a shield up and where,-till today again, like a really hard punch when I so least expected it. There we were all together, and Keo has to run to his papa almost in tears.In what I expected was going to be a happy "Papa!!!!" was not that at all...The minutes that followed I stood there like a stone, unable to move in order to prevent the tears from running down my face. Instead I kept thinking, just cry out of your ears Gisa if you have to! This isn't the time, right here and now!!!
Moments passed, we all found a spot on the grass, JM in a chair. I can't even remember what we talked about, what was said. I totally did not have a grip on myself, if I moved an inch I would melt into a puddle of water. I just couldn't with all my might get over the fact that I didn't see this coming, that I didn't anticipate Kenji and Keo being sad? startled? suprised..? 20 or mintues after we all went for walk together, boys jumping around the garden, off park benches, JM and I and Sandrine walking along together not saying very much.

Our visit ended, boys said goodbye on a happier note, I walked JM back up to his room.He was extremely tired.
His status: He is doing ok, not great yet. See the doctor tomorrow again. I don't want to talk about details.
Overall JM shall hopefully be getting home soon. His liver is functioning well, it's other stuff that is keeping him behind. His mood was not great, expected...I tried to be in a "mood" but couldn’t find one to be in no matter how much I searched.  I totally felt defeated tonight. I offered nothing to make him feel good, if anything I probably annoyed him with my silence. We were both a bit off and sadly...distant.
After we said goodbye I met Rosa and Sandrine downstairs with kids, they asked what was wrong with me...I couldn't even answer them, I just didn't know at all what the hell I was feeling. I tried to speak but knew that would only bring me to tears. I think it had to do with the children being around. I just had no f#:@$T%! idea that I would feel this way. An afternoon that I thought would be a bit of a "celebration" was anything but. I should have known that seeing JM with kids + emotions could trigger a volcanoe of feelings.  Maybe it's just also that my boys understand a thing or two now...that they really comprehend the situation, papa leaving, mama visiting. They are not babies anymore really..

Drive home was tough, ..no chocolate bunnies in reach... Rosa and Sandrine were headed back to Bretigny (rosa's house) for the week. Amy and Liam arrive Wednesday. I think it was apparent I was in no shape to drive so we all stopped at a restaurant for dinner. Eating and being together made something better. Felt stronger after that. Said goodbye to Rosa, thanked Sandrine for all her help this past week and we went our separate ways.
Driving into Fontainebleau I was able to gather my thoughts, pull myself together again. I kept asking myself if there was a difference in being strong and being confident. Rosa told me before I got in the car that I needed to get my confidence back. I didn't know I lost it, I thought I was being confident, but no, I was just trying to be strong. Will my strength lead me to being confident? Can I have confidence in this situation without any strength? Do these go together? I feel strong right now sitting here, but I'm not sure if I'm feeling confident. I'm feeling weak.

One phrase that always bring me back to the middle is what Andrea, my neighbor in Blacksburg has always told me..."this too shall pass" So with that: "these feeling too will pass" I know that this wave of emotion will go, that tomorrow will be a new day, that I will feel strong and confident again tomorrow, that I can better prepare myself for situations - or not, but at least know that we can't be prepared for everything and that in time these feelings will pass, that I won't always feel this way. Things will get better very soon. This is the toughest part, really in deep, got to keep swimming, take a deep breath and go.

goodnight, I miss my mama… I'm going to call her, nite...

Day 20

Sandrine took Rosa to visit JM today. I'm staying home with Keo, Kenji and Loup. Had JM on the phone this morning. He slept really well. He sounded much better. Now that he has some more energy he needs to get out bed and walk. Lily says he needs to take deep breathes, hold them in, let them out. I'll get a full report with Sandrine comes back. His 3-D scan is scheduled for this afternoon. Fingers Crossed!

The dreaded traffic space. Made it through yesterday with no problem though...why..?

Secret Weapons!
-Dark Chocolate Bunny and French Love Songs -.
(an attitude of steel and your thoughts got me through this parisian mess last night)

Morning in Fontainebleau, Sandrine kept kids yesterday.

Home. Waiting for Jean Marc, so we can go on long walks in the forest, the parks, fresh air awaits him.

Evening 19

Have come back from my visit with Jean-Marc.
JM has water in his lungs and stomach. They did an ultrasound today. Tomorrow he has a 3-D scan to give more information.

It is typical to have some water in lungs after an operation like this. Water usually goes away after operation with walking and sitting up. Unfortunately JM has been laying in bed for the last 15 days due to the second operation and problem on Sunday night. His feet are a swollen too. This is all due to water. He needs to walk more. We went on a walk today for about 15 minutes downstairs. He walks well. His voice is very weak but his was able to walk well. I told him to stand up straighter, to breath deeper. This will hopefully get the water out faster, with more walking and moving about..

JM is not a good mood. He was very down. His eyes didn't even look up... I told it was going to get better, that if this is all it is then be it, that from here on out it was going to get better. That with him now being a bit more rested he could move around more and get that water out. That from here on out it was time to move forward, day by day. Don't give up now. Don't let this get you down.

Tonight he takes a sleeping pill to get him through the night with no interruptions. H will walk again in the morning, then again at noon and again in the evening. I will see him around 1pm, get his second walk in. No visitors before 1pm. This sleeping pill will get him the rest he desperately needs to give him the energy to walk in the morning.

There was no room, there is no room to feel upset or cry. There is not one bone in my body that feels upset or sad. My body tells me this is not the time to give up or let go , lash out. This is the time for conserving energy for this weekend and keeping our thoughts positive.

I'll see JM tomorrow, will have more news about the scan and move forward.

Get the water out of lungs and stomach.

JM, don't give up now, I know it's hard my bumby, but not now. I know your feeling low, defeated, get back up and march on, we will get through this my love.

Chin Still UP! Day 19.

Today I leave work early and visit JM. Will bring him his favorite French Biscuits. Sandrine is staying in Fontainebleau with Loup, Kenji and Keo. I will return this evening and sleep in my bed again :)))
I love my bed and tall French windows that go with it :))) Talked to JM this morning and he seemed well. Tired and sleepy but well. A nights sleep with lots of interruptions but overall a successful night with no problems. 2 more hours and I leave to visit him!
Here are pictures from last Saturday and Sunday. - before our not so fun week. But that week is almost over!!! And the weekend it is and JM will be coming home soon and Amy and Liam (Kenji's friend) will arrive on Wednesday and soon we will have everyone home at # 1 Rue Rene Quinton, Fontainebleau!

"Tata" (auntie) Sandrine with Les Enfants

Kenji and his books. Lately it's one book after the other after the other, no stopping him. He is here, but almost not here... his head in his books all the time...

Rosa practicing her Voyant skills, under a tree, near a river running.

My Bayba, Keo Muneco and his Mama.

It's a good day today. Thank you for your kind emails, Facebook messages, blog posts, it really lifts me back off the ground when I need it most.

Take good care of yourselves and your loved ones..

Off to see my love!

Chin-Up! - New Day 18!

That's right, a new day. Chin- up, dust your knees and give Thanks. Thanks to all the wonderful people and things in our lives. Thanks that my honey Jean Marc is doing an amazing job of keeping himself strong and that his vitality is shinning through. I love him SO much! Tuesday when we met the doctor, Dr. Antonini,  she told me that with all the patients she has ever seen, JM stands out as one that is not to be fooled with. That when he says something hurts, it hurts. She says it's a pleasure to talk to him, that he gives honest and intelligent information and that he doesn't "shwine" - or whine. He is not a "Shwiner" no cry baby. And that is why when the nurse kept telling the doctor she did her job "right" The doctor told her " no, you did your job wrong, and that is what JM says too" Dr. Antonini is pretty impressed by JM. And I want to tell you too that for the first time, yesterday, I sat there listening to him talk, listening to him and all his ideas, and boy, did I miss him so much at that moment, it was just this little glimpse of what I live everyday with him, this little piece of joy and admiration. I know exactly why I love my husband. I miss him so much. I miss him so so much.

Chin up Bumby! I know you're reading this!



Day 13,14,15,16 and 17.

I don't really know what to write, I'm writing because I told myself long ago I would, when times were good and when times got tough, knowing that the water would get a little high every now and again. I don't feel like writing.
An update: JM is doing better. It has been a very long and tiring week. His episode on Sunday made him very weak and all of us worried. You never really realize how serious things are or what really happened till later...I had my appointment with the doctor on Tuesday. She said it was the fault of the nurse as to why JM had to have a blood transfusion on Sunday night. I don't want to get into the details. All in all I was just really angry. Angry that no one called me to tell me this happened, angry that I had to find out from JM over the phone this happened and angry and incredibly hopeless and upset that his voice was so weak over the phone. He was angry, yet he had no energy to speak.
Today, Wednesday night everything is better. We discussed with the doctors yesterday about what happened. She assumes responsibility for the nurse doing her job wrong. And all she really has to say is that in medicine, some times these things happen...His overall status...liver, is working really well, no infections and he is getting his energy back slowly. I brought Rosa with me yesterday to talk to the doctor and see JM. Dr. Antonini reassured us that they were doing the best they could...she was very honest. She says some nurses are better trained than others, that the nurses rotate, some on are vacation, that she had 30 other patients to look after...this and that...(angry!!!)

Today:  JM looked better, he can eat almost anything now, it's time to put some of that weight back on.
His voice is strong again over the phone. He is having family visit once a day.

We are staying at Rosa's house. Sandrine is here with Loup. From tomorrow we will move back to Fontainebleau.  I am looking forward to my bed and a good nights sleep again. I have been visiting JM in the evenings, coming to Rosa's at for the night, leaving for Fontainebleau for work in the morning. It's all coming down on me, the fatigue, the stress, the worries. It's too much at times and I have no place to really let it out. Not with JM, not at Rosa's, not with the kids, so traffic it is. I feel like I'm in a tumble dryer.
I know things will let up. JM is doing better and he will continue to get better from here on out.

Tomorrow his brother Brice visits him. They haven't seen each other in a long time.

Kenji and Keo are holding up too but miss Papa and now with all this to and fro and me leaving for work and all they seem a little off too...

I'm going to have to revisit our situation a week from now and see if changes need to be made.

Great News: Amy from Blacksburg is coming to stay and help for one month! And ...she is bringing Liam!They arrive the 20th. This is something to definitly look forward too!!!

This week will be over soon and behind us. keep plugging through, keep plugging through...get through this rough patch. After all we have been through we are not going to let this week get us down, nope, get back up and keep plugging through. Things are fine. Things are just fine.

Day 11 & 12 - Recovery and Rest

A long week. JM has been doing his best to recover from his 2nd surgery in 10 days. One surgery is enough to knock you down, two is a lot. Like posted earlier, JM had to be brought back down on the "block" Turned out his muscles were pushing out..along with other things. It was urgent and he went down right away. Next day he had a fever and white blood cells were at an extreme high and very dangerous. He was put on antibiotics to fight off the infection. Doctors searched everywhere to see where the infection was coming from. It was determined that infection was coming from the second surgery, a germ entered the body and spread. Doctors attacked the germ and now JM is recovering again. Good news is that infection was not in the lungs or anywhere else. Bad thing is he is now down again big time. (No pictures of JM this week. You'll have to wait till next week to get a look at my handsome frenchmen) 

He came out of his first surgery in great shape. This time around his body has had a lot to take on with general  anesthesia and infection. He is fighting hard to recover well. You never really know why something happened till days later, so at the moment we are still coming around to finding answers. My appointment with the surgeon was cancelled yesterday and postponed till Tuesday of next week. They say only then they will be able to give me a better update on his "Bilans" on how everything is working out, his stability.

Looks like his Liver is working like magic though. All is well. It more has to do with keeping JM germ free and healthy, strong and on a road to recovery. No more infections!!!!

We are trying to keep spirits high but to tell you the truth, it is very difficult sometimes. I'm glad I'm working, I don't have a moment to be bored or think too much. And when home I have the kids so I have to be strong. It's only the drive to the hospital that got me sad, scared, worried. Too much time in traffic doing nothing and you start to think too much. But once I arrived at the hospital it was great to see JM. Yes he is super tired, weak and upset this happened this week...but we have to keep going strong and keep being thankful it was only that and nothing else. So far this is going well. We are hanging tough.

Paul- Brouse hospital has done more than 2500 liver translpants!

Good thing!

Late night picture of the hospital on my way out last night.

Kenji or Keo must have taken this picture today at the park. Pretty picture. Could talk about life with the picture- don't get me started. ---I really like this picture the more I look at it.

Rosa is staying with us for a few days as she would like to be present for us. Sandrine is also here with little cousin Loup (Lou). Kenji is being strong, but I can see he is worried. Doesn't say much but holds my hand very tight at night when I'm putting him to bed. I told him things will be fine, that Papa will come home soon, that I love him, ...that we will go look for the last Harry Potter book together in Paris this weekend...that got his spirits high!

So to end this long and worrisome week, a THUMBS UP. All will be great from here on.

PROMISE!

If you would like to send JM and email Please Do:

jm.rollin@gmail.com

He will be checking his email shortly!!! Send him a note!

Day 8, 9 & 10 - A hiccup - but not to worry.

These past three days have been a little tough. Everything was going well till Monday. JM moving about in his bed and starting to eat some yogurt etc. Then Monday I went to see him again and all was fine until the nurses had a look at his stitches, wound. Something didn't look right and they called a few surgeons. It was agreed that JM was to be operated again and that it was urgent. I had a quick word with the surgeon before he took JM down to find out exactly what was going on. He said that due to JM's coughing and the fact that the amyloid illness makes his muscles weak on his stomach, some of the stitches, staples were coming undone. There was too much pressure from the muscles pushing out. Not a good thing.
So they rushed him down to the "Block" again and off he went. Before going in he gave be BACK his ring which we just put back on a day earlier. Doctors said surgery was only to last a few hours. They said to go home and call in the morning.
This time I was alone, it was late and I just had to walk myself back out the hospital and go to Rosas where the kids were waiting for me. Once I got there everyone was asleep so I went to bed and decided that I'd get the kids up early in the morning and head to Fontainebleau. I decided not to call the hospital till the kids got to school. So we packed up in the car early in PAris and headed out. Only this time....I went the wrong way and about 15 min. into my drive I realized I was heading towards the hospital and not home!!! So we all missed the morning of school and work. We finally made it and then I called the hospital. Nurses said he was doing well. He'd be back in his normal room by the afternoon. Surgery went well.
It was a long few days. Today JM is back in his room, and resting. Tomorrow, Thursday I have my first meeting with the surgeon to express my concerns and talk about what happened and why.
In the middle of this I lost my phone again. I only found it when Keo called me from the bathroom to scream "Mama....I think I'm peeing on your phone!" ---and there it was, my phone AGAIN in the toilet.
 Tuesday night Sandrine, JM"s sister came to stay with me, she arrived at 6pm, when she got in I just told her I needed sleep and off I went for a long nap till 10. I got up to find she made dinner and put the kids in bed. really nice. I took a shower and went back to bed. This morning I talked to JM again and he went on and on about a new Iphone application he wants to invent for the iphone....his mind was spinning!  Won't tell you what he great idea is but it's a great one! Has to do with a healthy way of life!
Today Sandrine is with the boys since there is no school. I'm off work in a little while and am happy I got good nights sleep last night.

Here are some pics:

Eiffel Tower in the distance. Horray for us and everyone!

Going in again.. but it's ok!

Sunset in the distance to keep our spirits high

A little smile for everyone.

Wash your hands everyone!

Day 6 and 7... - 10pms..

Yesterday, Saturday I visited JM at the hospital. They moved him to the 4th floor - He is out of Intensive Care!
He looked great. He was able to move his back, his legs. He was awake and alert this time :)))) Now these coming weeks are very important. JM will being going through a battery of exams to see if the liver he has been given is functioning well and that his other organs are also adapting to this change. This is also a very fragile week in terms of his immune system, which is very weak right now. He needs to make sure he doesn't get sick or catch a bug. I talked to the doctor about this, my concern with his family having a lung infection and they are doing their best to keep a close watch and also run his lungs through exams every day. He has to blow into this machine often, he has x-rays done and other tests. I really let the doctor know my worries, but all she could say was that there was not much they could do if he catches something, that what his family caught was a virus in the air and they can only do their best to prevent that does not happen to JM. So with that, I grabbed a box of face masks from the hallway closet and placed them by his bed. I told him he has to wear one when the nurses come and that he has to make sure visitors(who start visiting next week Saturday) wear one at all times. So I sat there with my mask, JM sat there with his mask and then after 5 minutes he pulled it under his nose saying it was too hot. I told him if I could do it he could do it.
Today he called me from his room! The first thing I thought was GERMS!- He has a phone number that he can phone on. Again while visiting I thought the hospital room was not very super clean....but the doctor reassured me it was, but I just kept feeling like germs were everywhere. Doctor told me again it's not from the germs in the room that can get him sick, it's the air born viruses. --mask, mask, JM wear your  mask! I stayed with him awhile, took some pictures of the view out his window, you can see the Eiffel Tower in the distance, very very long distance away, but you can see it! It could have been on the other side of the building, but there it was!

Funny Story:
So JM is on a floor with other liver transplant patients. The night we were called in, two other people went through the same operation. These people are now on the same floor with JM. Before and during the operation taking place I often thought about why people get their liver transplanted. More often than not it is because they are alcoholics. JM is one here at Paul Brousse that is not an alcoholic...and let me tell you how I know that:
The other night..... Jm said he was sleeping peacefully when all of the sudden he was awaken by a loud voice just outside his door in the hallway! It was the patient next door who woke up, tore the wires off his body, got himself (with his new liver just being transplanted) out of bed and came screaming into the hallway demanding a bottle of rum! Then another, soon after did the demanding cigarettes and wine!!! JM just lay there, pulled the covers under his sweet little nose and was like "where in the world am I!" The screaming and yelling went on and on, these patients demanding beer and wine and cigarettes, yelling at the nurses, saying they were leaving! ....JM thought he was in an insane asylum. Can you believe this? Just a few days after being transplanted these guys are up and could care less if their liver falls out right then and there! And do you want to know what is worse? Do you really want to know what is worse than the worse??????
The worse is that my poor honeys liver...is probably inside one of these people! It's the truth!
 JM's liver is really not that bad or ill. It's not an ill liver.  All it does is that it produces this protein that settles on your nerves. The time it takes for the protein to kick in and for the liver to start producing the protein is 35 years. So, doctors give Amyloid patients livers to other elderly patients in need. These patients will never develop the illness, by the time they do if they do they will be 100! Can you get over that? I couldn't.  When JM calls to tell me the crazies are up and running again I think of his sweet little french/American influenced liver stuck in someones body thinking "get me the hec out of here!" ---Another thought: So who's liver does JM have...? That's another question I have which I won't think about since it is probably a sad story. All I really like to think about is how Collette Dannette, the coordinator, the lady who called me at 3am sunday night, said it was a "very beautiful liver....a beautiful liver the color of a light wine, a rose colored liver, nice and plump...tres tres beau." It was really a special moment for me when she went on and on about how nice the liver was at 4 in the morning. I asked her if she had actually seen it and she said "of course! that is how I know" Oui Oui!

Well the best news is is that JM is doing fine. He has made it through his first week very well. Now to see how the exams go this coming week. How are his organs responding to this new member?-- Teamwork everyone! TeamWork! I don't want to have get in there and give a pep talk but I will if I have too!

Day 5

It's Friday. Almost one week since the call. One very long day since Sunday. Rosa and JM's sister are with me tonight in Fontainebleau. I was not able to see JM today. The doctors told me he needed rest. I called and left a long teary message with the nurse. They said I can come tomorrow at 1pm. They say he is doing better. Today I called the doctor coordinator Collette Danette from Paul Brousse. I explained to her that I was concerned about JM getting an infection. His aunt got one, his uncle got one and it's not a good thing. I told them before the operation that I was concerned about this lung infection and why his family contracts it and how we can make sure we prevent JM from getting it. She said the doctor will call me Monday and that JM will be on special survaillence. I really really want the doctors to take this issue with his family and lung infections seriously. ...I don't want to think he will get it,.. I just want to make sure someone is aware of this. I'll see tomorrow if I can talk to a doctor about it.
The kids are busy with their little cousin Loup. Rosa is happy to be here among the kids and Sandrine and I, although she can't tolerate noise very much. She is very tired and weak this evening. I hope she is keeping her spirits high and that it is not getting to her too much...I try to keep positive for both her and I..she worries I'll crack and she feels like she is here to care for me. I think she thinks I may be lonely...but right now I need all the rest I can get. I need a long needed nap. The kids will be occupied with Loup so that will leave some time for rest.
Im going to bed. nite.