I just wrote for 20 minutes and everything got deleted. :( - doesn't that suck...all my words just GONE. ugh...and the effort it took me to even freakin get here.
Just for the record to sum everything up because now I'm tired.
- this space if for to share what i feel, good or bad.
- I write when i feel like it and if others don’t like what i write rhen they must emember that it is what I feel .
- I can't handle much more that is on plate at the moment so please (god?) don't give me anymore than this.
- I'm not feeling really great. I'm feeling inadequate and lousy. and angry a lot of the time.
- I'm happy to have my job it keeps me going. my friends at work are really sweet.
- I'm happy Amy came. Thanks Amy...miss you but happy your home with your familyxoxoxo
- Vanina is really kind...:) Thanks for inviting us over tomorrow for a goutez.xoxoxo
- I miss home but realize that we are making it here and the kids are striving.
- I'm really confused.
- I realize that Im not as strong or maybe not a great fit for this position (our situation) as someone else may be...and I have to deal with that..and JM and kids too. I just don't have the energy or wanting to be as organized....level headed....super strong as this situation calls for. I'm quite erratic and weak, hopeless and lost a lot of time. I feel sorry for my family that they don't have a mother/wife that is just able to totally take this on. I totally feel like giving up.
- I'm happy to know that above.- now i don't have to try as hard.
- I write on this blog sometimes just for me , others time to update, other times to make some "feel goods"
- I have to be careful what i write because I know this isn't private....so reminder to myself...be careful.
- I wish I could write whatever I wanted to. - maybe start a diary..
- Update on JM!!!: - JM is out of hosp and home. he feels ok but gets stomach aches often. He got a haircut in town and looks very nice. He does not have a lot of energy but is able to be up and about for a few hours.
he wants to eat EVERYTHING. Tonight I made a recipe out of the "sans sel" book, thanks Amy, and made a turkey and rice recipe. It was good...JM was the only one to add salt though...
I miss Amy, but happy she is home with her family, thanks Jim and Liam for letting us have her!
- I may stop writing on my blog because Im losing a lot of energy and ....adrenaline- . It's been a long time now and I don't feel very happy right now.
- This seems like a bumpy time now in our life, the waiting is over, the first MONTH is over, but, it is still very bumpy.- like one of those carts in a minefield...in scoobydoo..
- Ken and Vanessa from Nuvotronics in
- I want to give up on this blog now. I want to write what I feel and realize I just CAN't. It's too public and it upsets people. and that makes me upset. and angry. and alone.
maybe
5 comments:
Dear Gisa, write whatever you like. You must be exhausted. Much love, Julia xxx
You know Gisa, it's really odd that you seem to be in dialogue with yourself on this blog. I for one, really find it a breath of fresh air (when you vent however muchly) - and I do not perceive even one other person who gets upset!
It is you, yourself who makes the rules for this blog. No one else! We all know that your etiquette is exquisite; EVEN when venting. Your nature will not allow you to go too far. Trust this.
Am I missing something?
I'm sending you the biggest hug I possibly can (((((0)))). I really wish I could be there for you. I don't think there is a mum/wife out there who could cope any better with your situation. I know I certainly wouldn't. I really hope no-one has had the audacity to criticise anything you have done. Your boys all love and appreciate you and that is the most important thing in the world.
All my love
Michelle xxxx
You write what YOU need to write where you want when you want - if others don't like they don't have to read it. I actually worry about you more when you just post the pics because this has to be the most stressful time of your life and I don't want you to internalize it all in. I wish I was there to help and support up close. You are honestly superwomen and I don't know anyone that could deal any better than you. Please try not to be so tough on yourself - I'm hear to listen whether its good, bad, or ugly. Hugs to you and the fam!
Gisa, you need to vent it is good for your soul. It keeps you sane. If you don't feel comfortable writing certain things on the blog than write in a diary but you should express them in some way to release the stress. I can't imagine what you have had to go through and just from your blog I think you have done incredible. Remember that we love you and you are not alone.
Love
Cathy
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