Today I went to work in the morning. Kids stayed with babysitter till 12 (they don't have school on Wednesdays) I picked them at 12:30 went to drop them of at Rosa's house near Paris. Went to visit JM at Paul Brousse hospital. I managed to get there all by myself. Crazy Parisian drivers, crazy roadways and signs. I don't think I have ever driven to Paris. I got there just in the nick of time as there was so much traffic this time around that they almost didn't let me in to see him from the window. He had the blinds down so I picked up the intercome and kinda whispered to him to see if he could here me "jean maaarrrrcccc...". Then I got a nurse who went in the room and lifted the blinds. There he was sleeping like a baby. He woke, he tried to open is eyes...he was very tired. He tried to wave but today he just didn't have the energy. He turned his head a bit as to rest it on the pillow, eyes open, small smile. I told him about my day, about the kids, about the drive, left the part out about my flat tire, about the bank, about this and that, how everyone was thinking of him in the US, in France and England and even in Peru!I told him we were all cheering for him. That I was writing about him, that i was taking pictures of him etc...He just lay his head there and then his eyes got kinda watery and shinny. He didn't have a lot of strength today but it's normal I know. Yesterday he had strength, today the drugs are wearing on him, his back hurts too and he probably just wants to get the hec out of there. Knowing him he's had enough already.
This has been a long week, started Sunday night at 3am. I'm still really tired, It's been like one long day this week.I'm keeping tabs on my emotions, and I see that I have been doing pretty good emotionally, actually great. I mean we attacked this phone call and our plan went into action. I guess now I'm like "ok...so...that went well...I'm really happy but...can JM come home now?" I guess I didn't anticipate these first few days and how they may be...or maybe even the weeks to come. I guess this may be a good time to do more research on what to expect these next weeks. Yes I am SO happy everything went amazing, I'm just a little worried that I'm feeling lonely so soon!!!! and that I don't like to see JM in this condition one bit! I feel like, "hey, com'on new liver in, out with the old, let's get on with it" I know this is far from true, I think I've just been on a high with little sleep and now I may be coming down, and today wasn't as great as yesterday, maybe it was cause I was alone...maybe it was because Jm was a little sad.
Good news is JM's sister comes this weekend to stay with Rosa so we will plan a huge family visit to the hospital. His aunts, cousins, everyone. I'm going to print pictures out and stick them on the window where I stand so he can turn his head when we are not there and see me and the kids. If you have one you wanna send please do! Hope no one at the hospital will have a problem with this. I can't imagine someone taking down a picture of a family and friends. I'll print out like 30 of the same and bring one every time I come just in case. After my visit I went downstairs and got a sandwich, awful American style tuna sandwich, just awful. Then I glanced through magazines while waiting, but you know, in france you can't do that...the lady kept staring me down like "you gonna buy that or what, put it down or else.." My mood was so sour I just ignored her and kept reading it and thought to myself if she asks me anything I'm just going to say " what? you wanna a piece of me,,com'on put'em up!!"
I finally left, drove back to Rosa's, had tea time with her, got the kids and went home to Fontainebleau. On the way home Kenji got this super huge hunger craving I almost had to stop the car on the highway because he was so hungry and wouldn't stop screaming at Keo. It's crazy...lately when Kenji get's hungry he turns into this hungry monster and I don't even recognize him! I quickly pulled into a french Chinese take out and got stuff to go, gave it to him in the back seat and he just chowed down big time...then he fell asleep. Sheesh! keo and I just looked at each other like "what the?"
long day...I'm going to bed. First I'll call the hospital, then Im going to bed. sleep tight..sweet dreams.
7 comments:
You need to remember that you are the only one who is doing all the work. So take care of yourself. We all know you want to be there all the time and he will enjoy seeing you, but take care of Mamma. He needs you healthy too. Love, Bill
Looks like you have a teenager brewing in your home....I know about that! They cannot get enough food, and you keep stocking up the fridge and cooking and when they have finished dinner they leave the table and 5 min later they are....hungry AGAIN!?!?
Kisses to you all
Ups, last comment was from V
Hang in there Gisa! You're shouldering a lot on your own and you're being so brave! We're so happy to hear that JM is doing well and think about you all often. Ben asks at least once a month when Keo is coming back! I'll tell him tomorrow that Keo's daddy had his surgery and is doing well - all concrete steps to coming back to Blacksburg!
Hang in there, Gisa. You are carrying all the weight in your shoulders and it's hard to keep strong for all those who need you. I'm cheering for you, my friend!! I admire your courage! A big hug.
and sweet Kenji with a tantrum??? I can't imagine that ;)
Oh, Gisa. Take a minute and picture a warm spring night, glass of wine in hand, laughing with all the girls. You might not be here, but we are all pulling for you. Passing around the latest info about JM, and keeping our collective fingers' crossed!! I hope it helps keep you strong. You are doing AWESOME. As for Kenji--keep food on your person at all times!! In your car, his backpack, Keo's pockets!!! In our family we call it B.tch food...and it's for ME!! :) Hang in there!! Much love.
Je vois que JM émerge doucement....très bien!!!
je viens de déposer des macarons et du chocolat chez toi...j'espère que Kenji vous en laissera un tout petit peu, pour Keo et toi.
Bisous , Vanina
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